Why I Don’t Chase Validation on Social Media
Let me get this straight: I care about a lot of things, and I worry about plenty. But when it comes to social media? If I get two likes, I couldn’t care less. Two is always better than none, but that’s not the point. In the UK, nearly 80% of the population (over 54 million people) are active on social media in 2025. For many, likes and comments become a public scoreboard, but for me, they are not why I post.
Being Judged Is Part of My DNA
Since I was six years old, I’ve been in sports school, constantly performing under the watchful eyes of trainers, judges, boards and teachers. All the way to my last public bodybuilding competition in 2019, my life was a cycle of being evaluated, critiqued and, sometimes, harshly judged. Decades spent in these competitive environments taught me not to take criticism personally, but to treat it as feedback, to work harder, improve and keep moving forward.
I am used to being judged; I am okay putting myself out there, but always on my own terms. I know how hard I work, and I accept that I might not be everyone’s favourite, that has never been the goal. What matters is becoming better, not seeking approval. Growing up, we were trained to separate our self-worth from validation and focus on progress, even when the feedback was tough or the criticism stung. Imagine being ten and publicly called out by a trainer: it can break you or make you stronger. For me, it cemented a resilient mindset. That is why validation on social media has no impact on me. The years I spent in judged environments prepared me to handle criticism and taught me that lasting self-worth comes from within, not from likes or popularity.
Does Low Engagement Demotivate Me?
People ask: “Doesn’t it demotivate you that you don’t have reach or engagement?” Honestly, no. I’m not chasing it. I post to stay visible, not to please an algorithm or the crowd. If someone wants what I offer, they reach out regardless of my “numbers.” My posts don’t go viral. I am not striving to become TikTok famous; that is simply not my aim.
I don’t follow any typical social media strategy designed to boost visibility or increase engagement. That is intentional. There is a reason I avoid chasing likes, comments or shares, it is not worth my time or energy. I don’t care about scrolling numbers or going viral. Staying true to my purpose means avoiding distractions and focusing on what actually matters to me and my business. This approach frees me from the constant pressure of “performing” online and lets me show up authentically, on my own terms.
At the same time, social media is important for me to stay visible and to show clients that I am active. That’s why I promised myself to post regularly and never skip it. This is a promise to myself and my business. I do not intend to spend endless time replying to everything or chasing engagement because that diverts me from what matters.
Why I Keep Posting But Don’t Care for Approval
I have never needed anyone’s approval. I post because it is my business, not a search for validation. Social media is not just about connecting, it is evolving rapidly. In fact, over 48% of UK users say their sleep is negatively impacted by time spent online, and 40% of adults admit it makes them feel lonely or isolated. This is not a space I want to become deeply invested in emotionally.
Social Media: A Changing Landscape
Social media once promised genuine connection. Today, it is often spammy, unregulated, and sometimes a breeding ground for negativity and bullying. 58% of Gen Z say they’ve been cyberbullied, and 83% feel pressured to be perfect online. The platforms use advanced algorithms to keep users hooked, feeding a cycle of reward, validation through likes triggers short bursts of dopamine, keeping us coming back for more.
We need to ask ourselves: what are we really getting from social media? Studies now warn that over-reliance on social validation distorts self-worth and creates addictive behaviours. For kids and teens, this effect is amplified, their mental health and self-image can erode under relentless comparison and toxic feedback.
My Approach
I keep posting, but I refuse to measure myself by likes and shares. My focus remains on what matters: real-world impact, meaningful relationships, and staying true to my values. For me, social media is a tool, not a source of validation.
Maybe social media is losing its original purpose. Maybe we all need an open mind and stronger boundaries if we’re going to use it wisely, especially for younger generations.
So, that is me. That is how I see it, and why I’ll never chase validation online.
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